How do we find love? Millions of people around the world are seeking love. If you do a search online right now for answers, you will quickly discover hundreds, if not thousands, of online dating services. Yet, is this really the answer to what we are seeking? The answer is hidden deep within our hearts. YOU are love. It is you.
HOW DO WE FIND LOVE?
Many of us spend lifetimes searching for love outside of ourselves when true wisdom shows us that love can only be found within us.
But sometimes it is difficult to believe that love can be easily found within. We feel bitter, resentful, frightened, worried, depressed, angry, lost, empty, hopeless, and lonely. Where did the love go? The truth is that love didn’t go anywhere. It didn’t leave us. It is there, but we must find it. How do find something that is not missing? We must open our spiritual eyes and ears and look and listen beyond what we see. We must learn to take action to love ourselves before we can love others. The truth is that love is always with us. Love can be found anywhere.
20 TIPS ON HOW TO FIND LOVE
- Find love by doing things you love – Do something that you remember enjoying and loving as a child (cooking, swimming, drawing, basketball, listening to music, petting a dog, walking in a forest, etc.). If you can’t remember, ask someone who can (your mother or father, sisters or brothers, close friends). Take time to do things you love every day.
- Find love by giving to your friends or loved ones – Write down the names of several friends who you love. Write down why you love them and what their redeeming qualities are. Next call these friends or get together with them and tell them how much they mean to you and what you love about them. Don’t expect them to say the same about you. Practice giving love without receiving it. You might have the opportunity to receive love from your friends, but practice not expecting it, and loving just for the sake of loving.
- Find love in the world around you. Make an alphabet list (three for each letter of the alphabet) that puts a smile on your face (eg., aprons, apples, astrology). Keep this list handy. Look at the list often and think of the things that you love. Open your heart to receiving from the world around you.
- Find love through volunteering. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, goodwill store or soup kitchen. Helping others brings love into the heart. When you return home, make a gratitude list. Think of the things that you have in your life that these people do not have. Write a thank you note expressing your gratitude for these gifts in your life.
Find love by listening to yourself. Write down your thoughts during the day. If you have negative thoughts, write them down and then burn them, cut or tear them into little pieces, or flush them down the toilet. As you destroy the negative thoughts, replace the thoughts with gratitude for the good things in your life. If you can’t think of anything to be grateful for, make a list. Start with the basics: I’m alive. I’m breathing. I have hope. I have this article right now. I have a place to sleep. I have food., etc.
- Find love by listening to others. Listen to a “talk radio” program where people call in with their problems, or listen to a friend who is sharing with you about his or her problems with giving and receiving love. Listening to how others solve their problems, brings healing in ourselves. Take notes. Write in your journal about it. Then contemplate on the ways in which others have learned about how to give and receive love, and think of how this relates to your own life.
- Find love by joining a support group or weekend workshop or seminar to help you unleash your fears, heal your heart and take the next step. If you don’t feel like talking at first, that’s O.K., join a weekly one-hour group rather than a big commitment like a seminar. Just go for an hour and tell others you want to listen. Use good discrimination. If the group is just a lot of people complaining and gossiping, this does not add to your health and well-being. Seek out positive, loving groups that focus on forgiveness, love and hope. After attending, always take time to reflect and summarize what you have learned for yourself.
- Find love by taking a class and developing your skills. Do this just for fun and just for you. Learn a new skill (eg., sewing, car repair, home decorating, French lessons, computer programming etc.). Investing in ourselves builds self esteem, happiness and brings self love.
- Find love by participating in an online chat group. Love can be found anywhere because it is inside of you. To find love in an online chat group, you can be anonymous, or not. Don’t join the group expecting to find a whirlwind romance. Don’t join the group if people are complaining, gossiping about others, trashing their lives, complaining about the world, and bringing you down. This is not love. Find a group that makes you laugh and brings joy into your heart. Participate. Give support to others. Learn to read carefully what others say. Respond with supportive statements. Be a good friend. Be a friend who is lighthearted, joyful and confident in yourself. Learn how to experience love by giving love.
- Find love by reminding yourself of your good traits. Write down 20 positive and lovable traits about yourself and tape it to the refrigerator (eg., stylish, spontaneous, daring, open-minded, good at poker, etc.) . Read it often.
- Find love by reading uplifting positive books every night before going to sleep. Throw out or give away books that are dramatic, depressing, and maintain a victim consciousness. Be selective. Negative books might give you a thrill or sensation of dominance or power, but these feelings don’t last and you are left with a feeling of emptiness and lack of love. Now is the time to make good choices about what is loving and what is not loving. Remember that you are responsible for creating your world.
- Find love through loving, joyful music. Throw out all music that is angry or depressing. Choose to saturate yourself with music that is happy, loving, inspirational, joyous, and peaceful.
- Find love by giving yourself permission to be unloving: sad, frustrated, angry, or depressed, etc. Take some quiet time to get in touch with those feelings. Love the bad feelings, and forgive yourself. If you harbor bad feels toward another person, ask yourself, “What was the lesson in this relationship? How did I benefit from this? What did I learn?” When you identify the lesson and blessing, then let it go, be grateful, and forgive.
- Find love by putting love into your outer shell – clothing, and home. Get a “makeover” (a new haircut, new clothes, clean and redecorate your house, etc.). Have fun, think loving, nurturing thoughts while making improvements, and invest in yourself.
- Find love by giving love to your physical body. Exercise, do deep breathing, or go for a walk. Get a massage.
- Find love by eating good food. Poor diet can bring on depression and make it difficult, if not impossible, to feel happy and loved. Make a list of healthy foods, buy them, and tape the list to your refrigerator.
- Find love by getting plenty of sleep. Nothing blocks a happy heart more than lack of sleep and rest. Allow yourself time to rest, relax and recharge.
- Find love through meditation or prayer. If you’ve identified a problem that you cannot solve, surrender it over to a higher power. Speak with spiritual people whom you trust (priest, minister, friend, family member). Spiritual exercises, prayer, contemplation, guided imagery or meditation can be instrumental in opening the heart to experiencing divine or higher love and wisdom. Imagine love filling your body with a beautiful golden, shimmering light. Feel love in your heart and keep this feeling throughout the day. If it goes away, take time out to repeat the exercise.
- Find love through listening to “self-help” motivational recordings. There are many audio and video recordings available free or for purchase that help awaken others to a more loving consciousness. Visit our YouTube site for our playlist.
- Find love by reminding yourself, “You are Love. It is You.” Download, or copy and print out this free poster here, and put it up somewhere where you see it every day. Write “I am love.” 15 times before going to sleep at night.
Remember that the truth is that you don’t have to go looking for love. These tips help you discover the truth. Love is right here with you always. All ways. You are love. It is you. Best wishes and lots of love to you from your health and wellness friends here at MBHA.
This article is written by Jean Voice Dart, M.S. Special Education from Illinois State University. Jean is a published author and has written hundreds of health articles as well as hosting a local television program, “Making Miracles Happen.” She is a Registered Music Therapist, Sound Therapist, and Master Level Energetic Teacher, and is the Executive Director, founder and Health and Wellness Educator of the Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance. The Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance is a registered 501 (c) 3 nonprofit health and wellness education organization. For more information about the Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance contact us or visit our website at www.montereybayholistic.com.
Disclaimer: The Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance is a charitable, independent registered nonprofit 501(c)3 organization and does not endorse any particular products or practices. We exist as an educational organization dedicated to providing free access to health education resources, products and services. Claims and statements herein are for informational purposes only and have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. The statements about organizations, practitioners, methods of treatment, and products listed on this website are not meant to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. This information is intended for educational purposes only. The MBHA strongly recommends that you seek out your trusted medical doctor or practitioner for diagnosis and treatment of any existing health condition.