10 Golden Keys for Dealing With Difficult People

Do you have someone in your life who seems to make life intolerable? Do you find yourself avoiding this person, or thinking badly about them, or feeling poorly about yourself at the mere thought of this person? Dealing with difficult people can upset the mind, body, and emotions, causing stress, anxiety, and can even lead to headaches, insomnia, and poor health. Find out what you can do to alleviate stress, find contentment, joy and happiness, and deal with difficult people comfortably in your daily life.



1. Choose to BE GRATEFUL
It may seem impossible to generate a feeling of gratitude toward the people who make our lives miserable, but difficult people can offer us some of life’s greatest lessons.  Just BE it.



2. Remember Your Own Values
Difficult people can cause us to feel stressed and emotionally drained, yet we can learn to diffuse the tensions by remembering our own values and how we can respond and interact with others.



3. Change Your Viewpoint

When we encounter someone who is being difficult, what can we do?  First, we have to recognize that this person’s way of expressing himself or herself is an adopted pattern of behavior and it’s far from who they truly are; and second, we have to realize they are in a fragile emotional state.

    • Recognize that this person’s way of expressing is not who he or she truly is
    • Realize that the person is in a fragile emotional state


4. Proceed Calmly
Knowing this, we can learn not to take it personally and to proceed calmly while keeping our thoughts and feelings balanced.  Be present. Stay calm.



5.  Look for Other Solutions
An emotional outburst or negative expression is the only avenue a difficult person as a solution to their problems. Look for other solutions.



6. Realize They Need Help
Instead of thinking someone is directing their negativity towards us, we can realize they are coming to us for help. What a paradigm shift!  Yet this simple shift in perspective allows us to respond on a higher level of consciousness as we interact with them harmoniously, without being negatively affected by their attitude.



7. Listen Carefully and Acknowledge the Person
Often times, the person causing the difficulties feels they haven’t been acknowledged or taken seriously. Listen carefully and acknowledge the other person. Take them seriously.



8.  Give Acceptance, Peace and Love
At first this may seem impossible, however, we are always given a choice to the level of consciousness we bring to every human interaction. When we bring acceptance to a difficult situation, our awareness immediately opens to infinite possibilities of peaceful solutions.



9. Learn the Lesson …..and Stop the Pattern Now!
When we bring resistance to a difficult situation, our options are limited because our awareness remains solely focused upon the problem.  If we don’t learn the lessons that difficult people offer us, similar situations will arise until we do.



10. Receive Profound Understanding
One of the greatest gifts we can learn from working with difficult people is how they can lead us to a deeper understanding of ourselves, guide us to discover a profound level of understanding in our own relationships, and provide us with the opportunity for the highest level of spiritual growth and personal development.


Michael Chojnacki  is a professional speaker, workshop leader, executive coach, and a Sensei in the martial art of Aikido. He teaches people how to relate and communicate on a higher level where they develop greater self-confidence, effectiveness, productivity, and harmony through the power of connection.  He is a Health Educator, writer for the Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance. For more information about the Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance, visit our How You Benefit page on this blog or check out our website for events, health videos, health directory, and more at www.montereybayholistic.com


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