Are you living your life as a subpersonality or are you living your life as the REAL YOU? Do you sometimes feel that you are quick to react, judging others, feeling like a victim, being a caretaker, or just wanting more control over your emotions and your life? What is a subpersonality and how does it affect us us as children and adults? Learn more.
Happy New Year, health and wellness friends!
How do we keep New Year’s Resolutions? Why do we fail at achieving goals? How do we succeed at achieving goals? This is the time of year when we are looking at the year passed and making decisions and goals about our future. But many of us have problems keeping these goals or even taking a step forward.
WHY DO WE HAVE TROUBLE ACHIEVING GOALS?
There are many reasons why people fail at achieving goals or New Year’s resolutions:
- Fear of success
- Fear of failure
- Lack of accountability and responsibility
- Poor organizational skills
- Setting unspecific goals that are too broad (such as “Be healthy”).
- Setting unachievable, unrealistic goals, and not accepting limitations
- Need of support system (support groups, friends, partner)
- Bad habits of avoidance behaviors and procrastination
- Fear of competition
- Choosing a goal that is not important, so there is no motivation
- Maintaining a negative image and an inability to see the goal achieved
HOW DO WE SUCCEED AT ACHIEVING GOALS?
Here are 10 tips for achieving success with your goals:
- Set achievable goals that you have the talent and skill to complete.
- Choose goals you truly care about and are motivated to achieve
- Be specific (“eat vegetables 3 X a day” instead of “be healthy”).
- Work with a goal buddy and agree to check on eachother weekly.
- Break it down and write smaller goals on your calendar every day.
- If you don’t reach your daily or weekly goal, start over the next day
- Be willing to change your goal if you made it too difficult.
- Forgive yourself for making mistakes and allow slips with tolerance.
- Use creative imagination techniques to manifest, see, and BE it.
- Most importantly, do your homework. Look down deep inside yourself and face any emotional or mental blocks to your goal such as: fear of success, fear of failure, low self-esteem, etc. Release these blocks to the universe, seek help if needed and begin anew.
Best wishes to you in this new year from your friends at Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance.
Jean Dart, M.S. Special Education from Illinois State University, is a published author and has written hundreds of health articles as well as hosting a local television program, “Making Miracles Happen.” She is a Registered Music Therapist, Sound Therapist, and Master Level Energetic Teacher, and is the Executive Director, founder, and Health and Wellness Educator of the Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance, a 501(c)3 health education nonprofit organization. To find out more about our Health Educators, or to apply as a Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance writer or volunteer, visit our website at www.montereybayholistic.com
Disclaimer: The Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance is a charitable, independent registered nonprofit 501(c)3 organization and does not endorse any particular products or practices. We exist as an educational organization dedicated to providing free access to health education resources, products and services. Claims and statements herein are for informational purposes only and have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. The statements about organizations, practitioners, methods of treatment, and products listed on this website are not meant to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. This information is intended for educational purposes only. The MBHA strongly recommends that you seek out your trusted medical doctor or practitioner for diagnosis and treatment of any existing health condition.
Best wishes to you, our health and wellness friends!
Today the focus is on letting go…. surrendering the negative and bad qualities that exist inside of ourselves.
Surrendering the domination of the mind, emotions, and ego, when it is destructive to our health and happiness.
All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.
It sounds simple enough. Just let go. Banish the ego. But why should we banish the ego? Is it really all that bad? Don’t we need the ego to survive and be successful? Yes, this is true. The ego helps us fight and prosper and helps us make good choices in life. The ego is the inner voice that is concerned for self welfare, safety, and success.
However, the ego can sometimes get in our way and prevent us from truly loving, being prosperous, successful, and achieving our dreams and goals, especially when we are trying to work as a team. There is no place for ego when working together with a group or a partner. So what exactly is the ego?
Here’s what Einstein had to say about the ego:
EGO = 1 / Knowledge.
More the knowledge lesser the Ego, lesser the knowledge, more the Ego.
An over-dominating ego can be what causes little children to start swinging at one another on the playground and little Freddie to come home with a black eye and a broken tooth. So what do we do when a person is angry, dominating, controlling, and our ego wants us to fight back and hold onto a grudge? The little voice inside says, “This feels bad. It’s not right. That person is wrong,” and if we let the ego take over, we might soon find ourselves hurt and angry, saying things we later regret, slamming doors, or in a boxing match with a friend or family member. Here is what Sigmund Freud has to say about the ego.
“One might compare the relation of the ego to the id with that between a rider and his horse. The horse provides the loco-motor energy, and the rider has the prerogative of determining the goal and of guiding the movements of his powerful mount towards it. But all too often in the relations between the ego and the id we find a picture of the less ideal situation in which the rider is obliged to guide his horse in the direction in which it itself wants to go.”
~Sigmund Freud, From New Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis, 1932.
So what does one do, to release the white-knuckled grip of ego? What do you do (in the moment) to be unaffected by words that sting or hurt? I asked our Facebook friends what they do when the ego gets in the way, and it’s difficult to let go, and forgive hurtful words or actions.
Here are some of their answers.
- “In Tolle’s book, A New Earth, he gave me one of the most amazing tools EVER! He provided this tool for whenever we are faced with ‘EGO’ or ‘Pain-Body’ issues. Become a witness and not a participant. Allow a space in front of you, become a witness in the ego’s unfolding and not a participant, bless it all and surrender it. IT works every time for me.” ~Iris
- “Take a look at this, it may be of help: Creating Moments of Joy: A Journal for Caregivers, Fourth Edition, by Jolene Brackey “ ~Hal
- “I listen to Hilary Stagg, Harpist. This Instrumental music allows you to feel the music, the ministry of it. I have found his music soothes and ministers to every person who walks into our shop and especially myself which prepares me to be able to minister to others throughout the day. Please listen to a sample of his music when you get a chance. Also “speak” to the persons spirit. Not at the body that the spirit houses. Just a thought.” ~Terri
- “I step back and visualize both of us as our “true” selves, sparks of God, when the trappings are taken away I remember that we’re all just sparks trying to find our way home. Takes my ego right out of the picture (a constantly battle btw).” ~Kelly
- With the Emotion Code from Dr. Bradley Nelson, you can help the person release trapped emotional energy that may be stuck in the radiant body of the individual. ~Evelyn
- “There are a lot of wise words here about peace and detachment. Still, I think one would be wise to be open-minded if chocolate cheesecake is an option.”~Jerry
- “I am remembering a technique I use when life is chaotic. Sometimes I have used this imagination technique where I become a worm or a butterfly or something that is unaffected and not burdened by these kinds of worries and emotions. Yay!! Time for worm meditations.” ~Jean
- “Chips Ahoy Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies with a 1/4 inch of Philly Cream Cheese on top. Self indulgent/pure decadence!” ~Mark
Ha,ha! We here at MBHA might not choose to try your amazing suggestion, Mark, but thanks so much for the smiles! 😉
- “I talk to my angels; they always help when asked.” ~Ronni
- “I write myself notes reminding myself that I am a beautiful and loving human being. I have found that the person who hurts me the most is myself because I decide to use other people’s words to hurt me. I have the choice to love myself and accept a viewpoint that is beneficial to my well being. Sometimes that means to listen to what others say and realize how I can benefit from their words, clear any obstacles to love, thereby allowing love to flow more freely through me. Love you and thank you so much for asking the question because it is always a great reminder of what true love is capable of!!!” ~Liana
“Yoga helps me.” ~Debbie
- “It also helps to write the qualities you’re working on in a note. Write it in the present tense– (e.g,I am happy… I enjoy a fulfilling relationship with… etc, etc). Then CARRY IT IN YOUR POCKET! I just read this tip in the paper the other day. There was a study done and when people carried good things about themselves in their pocket, they felt better and improved their lives. It was also studied to write bad things down and tear them up or throw away… and of course, surrender is key. You can write whatever you aspire to, but then you surrender it to the good of the whole.” ~Bonnie
Thanks to all our friends for their wonderful tips. We at MBHA invite YOU to share with us what you do to gain control over the ego, release judgment toward others, practice forgiveness and tolerance, and let go of the need to be right. We leave you with Sai Baba’s final word and the quote for today on our beautiful free poster gift to you.
“Give up all bad qualities in you, banish the ego and develop the spirit of surrender. You will then experience Bliss.”
~Sri Sathya Sai Baba
Best wishes to you with gratitude and appreciation,
Your health and wellness friends at MBHA
As-salamu alaykum (السلام عليكم), health and wellness friends!
Today “Seize the day” comes to mind, or Carpe Diem. Just what does that mean and how does one do it? Well, it’s another beautiful day here on the Monterey Bay. Blue skies, puffy, white clouds, bright, warm sun. We are grateful for the fresh, clean ocean air. It’s the perfect time to “seize the day!”
People are going holiday shopping, hiking in the mountains, getting haircuts, cooking food, cleaning house, doing laundry, going to church, watching television, filling out Christmas cards, attending a business meeting, posting comments on Facebook, washing the car, exercising at the gym, flying in an airplane, meditating, and paying bills. So who is seizing the day and who isn’t? Not easily determined by outer appearances. It is all about listening to ourselves, and not about listening to what is “right” or “wrong” according to some other authority.
Here at the Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance we determined to be seizing the day and accomplishing our goals. But first we have to set goals. Sometimes it’s not easy. It takes continued focus, vision, and discipline, and often rewriting goals or making new ones. So what does it mean to seize the day and how do we accomplish it? Here is what a few people have to say about it.
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
― Helen Keller, The Open Door
“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt
“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of.”
― Benjamin Franklin
“Enjoy life. There’s plenty of time to be dead.”
― Hans Christian Andersen
“Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough.”
― Emily Dickinson
“Every man dies. Not every man really lives.”
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
“As you grow older, you’ll find the only things you regret are the things you didn’t do.”
“Spend the afternoon. You can’t take it with you.”
“Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today. ”
So it seems from Helen, Eleanor, Ben, Hans, Emily, Braveheart and the others that “seizing the day” is about spending one’s time wisely and taking immediate action, and one other important quality…enjoyment. But what gets in the way of us taking immediate action and choosing joy? Sometimes plenty! It seems the mind plays tricks on us and gets us to do other things rather than focusing on our primary goal…our vision…our dream…our joy. If we don’t keep focused on our dream, then we never reach it.
Today I saw a video about a vet who lost 140 pounds doing yoga. He had been been a paratrooper and had injured his spine and knees multiple times. He was told by many doctors that he would would never walk normally again and that all physical therapy programs would fail. He succeeded through perseverance and disciplined effort and using a coach to inspire and motivate him. Now gone are the days of the past when he would spend hours sitting on the couch watching television. That changed the moment he made a conscious decision to seize the day! It wasn’t easy. In the beginning, he fell down, over and over again. But he got back up, because a friend offered a helping hand. He cast aside his two canes and leg braces and is now exercising regularly. He is enjoying the day, living his life to the fullest, healthy and physically fit.
The truth is that sometimes we need a little help from our friends: Acupuncturists, nutritionists, holistic health counselors, fitness coaches, Tai Chi instructors, yoga instructors, authors, psychic healers, hypnotherapists, channelers, Reiki Masters, aromatherapists, naturopaths, health practitioners, etc. Here at the Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance, we are your health and wellness friends and offer a helping hand when needed, providing access to people, events, resources and services that you are seeking.
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
Thank you, Robert Brault. Carpe Diem! So how will YOU seize the day today? Enjoy our gift to you, this downloadable poster creation from the MBHA.
~Best wishes from your friends at Monterey Bay Holistic Alliance.